“I started learning about surrogacy when I had my first child, 19 years ago. At that time, someone told me that in Canada, where I live, it’s It was illegal, so I gave up. After having my last child, who is now eight years old, different advertisements for surrogacy started popping up on Facebook, and it caught my attention. inquire and ended up at an agency that I would later join that was responsible for connecting women doing belly substitutes with people interested in starting families of their own.

My name is Jessie, I’m 36 – soon to be 37 – and I was born in Virginia, USA. At the age of 15, I arrived in Canada, and I became national in 2006. I have been married since 2014 and I have three children, aged 19, 17 and 8, two men and a woman, the one middle. I started having kids when I was 18, I was very young, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I work to help the elderly.

Why did I choose to be a surrogate mother? Because when I had my children, I felt immense happiness. It was a unique feeling, and it – added to the fact that I also had easy pregnancies – made me think that if I was already ready with mine, why not help others have children and start their own family?

I like to help people, it’s my nature. In Canada, it is illegal to receive money for the gestation of a baby. They only pay us for associated expenses such as doctor visits, medications and some groceries. We paid for everything with receipts to be reimbursed for expenses, but we received nothing for being pregnant. I do not receive direct payment for surrogacy. In Canada it’s always like that, it’s not allowed otherwise. I do this to help people. I want to keep doing it and helping people build their families for as long as my body will let me.

The first time I told my husband that I wanted to do surrogacy, he asked me if I was sure. I found that a little weird. However, when she met the first couple I helped, she fell in love with them just like me and thought it was a good thing to do. He was a great support in all of this. If his job allows it, he accompanies me to the pregnancy check-ups and helps me with the vitamin injections and the medications that I have to use for the first few months. He is a very supportive husband. My kids love that I do this and always ask me if I’ll do it again. Every time I’m pregnant, they tell everyone. It is a source of pride. And when babies are born, they get to know them and spend time with them.

In Canada, it is quite common to do surrogacy. There are many of us all over the country and there are many support groups where we talk to and see each other. It’s a community.

The first time I did surrogacy was with a Canadian couple. I gave birth to her twins, a male couple who will be five in October. They live in Alberta, a place that is four hours by plane from my home in Ontario. Every year, I go to see them for their birthday. They are fantastic children, very nice, and they know perfectly well who I am. Their parents have always told them that they came out of my womb but they are their parents. In fact, they have a picture of me on their wall.

After that first time, I tried to help another family, but we only processed one embryo and it didn’t work.

My third opportunity was with Pedro and Sebastián, a Chilean couple we connected with through an agency. In this document, both parties had to declare what we were looking for. Once the agency connects people like me with different partners, we have to make different appointments for two weeks, where we talk to each other, do video conferences and get to know each other. There we talk about how we want the pregnancy to be, what happens in case of multiple pregnancy or other things that are important to discuss and we see if we agree. After this process, both parties decide if we want to continue talking.

On this occasion, I was specifically looking for a gay couple who would also like to go to the San Diego Fertility Clinic, in the United States, because it is a place with very good opinions and specifications. When I first saw Pedro and Sebastián, they seemed very nice to me. Seeing their photos, I thought they were a simply adorable couple. Affectionate, good, splendid people. I liked them from the start.

Matilde, their daughter that I gave birth to, will already be two years old in July. I haven’t seen her since she was born, but I’ve seen her many times through photos and videos. We talk a lot on WhatsApp. Pedro and Sebastián stayed here for a month after he was born and we tried to make plans to see each other physically, but unfortunately that didn’t work out for us. Yes, we have seen each other via video call.

I remember perfectly the day Matilde was born. It was July 22 and at exactly 2:22 a.m. I broke the stock market. 2 was the magic number. It was the first time, of all the deliveries I had, that I broke my sac. My husband was at work, because at that time he was working at night, and I called him and Pedro and Sebastián so that we could go to the hospital. We all went together. Me and my husband were in one room and they were in another. They came to say hello several times, and when Matilde was about to leave, they came to see everything. They were able to see it born.

Following the chance of 2, the delivery took 22 hours. It was long and very difficult. Matilde was looking back and I was very tired, but everything went well. We had previously discussed what we were going to do once he was born. Together we decided that immediately afterwards I would put it on my chest, as it reduces the pain of childbirth and the expulsion of the placenta. I also breastfed him, something I’ve never experienced in a surrogacy, but it was quite enjoyable. With twins before, I had only expressed colostrum.

When it’s time to deliver the baby you’ve brought into the making, there’s always a feeling between sweet and bitter. On the one hand, I’m sad to see them go, but at the same time, I’m incredibly happy to think that I’ve helped create a family. It’s a really wonderful feeling. Sometimes I think it’s like they’ve been babysitting for nine months, and that’s when it’s their parents’ turn to take care of them.

The delivery was very difficult, in fact the most difficult I have ever had. For this reason, I thought that I wouldn’t do it again, that I wouldn’t be able to. However, when I saw the happy faces of Pedro and Sebastián, and all the love they radiated, I was moved. For this reason, when they asked me much later about the possibility of giving Matilde a possible brother, I could not say no.

I am currently pregnant with their second son or daughter. I am 10 weeks old. The first few weeks were difficult because I had a migraine almost every day, but in the last two weeks it has improved. This time there were two embryos, but we already had our first ultrasound and we know that only one baby is coming. We don’t know what it is yet.

Pedro, Sebastián and Matilde will come to Canada before their due date, which is November 17, and they will stay for a month while they take care of the paperwork. I am super happy to see them again, very impatient for this reunion.

They’ll wonder why I’m doing it a second time. I do this because my goal is to help create families, and if I can help create not just one – the twins – but two, why not?

I don’t know if this will be the last time I practice surrogacy. Sometimes I think so, but later when I have babies and see the happy faces of their families, I think it’s a great experience. I like what it does. I know all the happiness and love I felt when I had my own children and I want to give the same to someone else. It’s the best gift I can give someone.

When it comes to paid surrogacy, I think it’s a very different situation. You have to understand that pregnancies can be complicated, very hard, and with this you are literally putting your life at risk for other people. It must be considered that the process involves drugs, embryo transfers, among others, and of course there are risks.

I’m not going to lie and say that we might all like to get paid, but on the other hand there are people who may be tempted to do it just for the payment, and that’s complicated. I think the hardest thing about getting paid is whether people are really doing it for the money or because they want to. I don’t know what the process is in other countries, but in Canada once the match is made with the parents, we have to go through a whole medical process and psychological assessments to be sure we’re doing it for the right reasons. . In that sense, if you’re sure the person is doing it for the right reasons, I don’t see why getting paid would be a bad thing.