Christmas depression: how to overcome and accompany the sadness of the end of the year

With the tune saturated with Christmas carols remade by pop stars for retail, for some people Christmas is even harder than listening to Chayanne sing a sweet tune multiple times a day, sticky and just as hard to come out of your head that melted gum from your head the sole.

The Christmas depression — or “christmas bluesin English – is not classified as diagnostic, explains Yasna Amaro, a psychologist at dreams but it is a syndrome characterized by a melancholic state of mind which manifests itself at the end of the year.

“It’s kind of a stationary depression,” he says. “It may be temporary, but it usually responds to an existing mood disorder, such as depressive disorder, unresolved grief, bipolar disorder, etc.”

Last year, Susana Romero —psychologist and master’s in clinical psychology— explained to us that the New Year’s holidays are a time of affective resonance, which means that even with small stimuli, people are able to feel more things and with greater intensity. .

There María José Lacamara, also a psychologist and author of the books I have enough Yes more connectedsays that the rites make you feel all kinds of emotions: joy, gratitude, love, but also sadness, melancholy, anguish or fear.

“It’s also hard on those who are struggling financially or emotionally, who haven’t had a good year, and who, while they would like to be happy, can’t,” says Lacamara.

The stark contrast between environmental happiness and inner grief—added to the possible inability to give gifts due to financial circumstances—can be for some people as painful and harmful as looking directly at the sun.

In the book psychopoliticsthe South Korean philosopher Byung Chul Han presents an idea that, in the age of affective resonance, can take on even more force: “Anyone who fails in the neoliberal society of performance makes themselves responsible and ashamed, instead of handing over in question the society or the system…. This auto-aggression does not make the exploited a revolutionary, but a depressive,” he writes.

The subject is delicate. According to study developed by Cetep Group , December 25 is one of the three dates with the highest suicide rates in Chile. How do we know if a loved one is suffering and what can we do to help them? What guarantees with ourselves can we take?

Yasna Amaro explains that the most obvious symptoms of this stationary condition are deep feelings of sadness, longing, and a sense of emptiness, which can also manifest as appetite and sleep disturbances, irritability, bad mood, anxiety, melancholy and social isolation.

“For some people, these holidays impose the idea of ​​spending them together as a family, but very often, not everyone wants to be with certain loved ones. On the other hand, if you are having a recent duel, these dates push you to remembering people who are no longer there, and this leads to having the loss of a loved one more in mind,” explains Alejandra Rojas, a psychologist at Grupo Cetep.

Jorge Muñoz, psychologist at Psyalive, explains that there is an effect called “intrusive thinking”, and it refers to when we have an idea “stuck” in our mind. “In my professional opinion, this is what happens to people who have problems: they get trapped and instead of trying to solve them, they feel helpless.”

A very good first step, says Amaro, is to identify if anything unusual is happening to us. Then, he says, accept that we are not “superheroes” and that we should not force ourselves to meet all expectations. This recommendation, he points out, is aimed primarily at mothers.

“In general, they play a fundamental role in the organization of the end-of-year celebrations. They are expected to organize dinners, run errands, prepare the menu, attend school and social events, choose children’s clothing and do financial planning. If we add to this that the children are on vacation and that it is necessary to order their activities, without neglecting their work and taking care of the house, it is undoubtedly a complex date”.

Among the suggestions, the professional calls for seeking support networks and delegating responsibilities. “And if necessary, seek professional help, especially if there are signs of suffering from a hidden depressive disorder, which is revealed at this time.”

Amaro invites you, who read this article so carefully, to be a support network for someone else. To collaborate with the organization, with the schedules and tasks of these hectic days.

There is a very short word, says Rojas, barely two letters, but it is very powerful and essential for self-care. “At times or in spaces we don’t want to inhabit, trying to say ‘no’ is a great resource to consider. Work out what activities and obligations make us feel comfortable or tolerable that day, and try to go without the rest.”

Jorge Muñoz gives three keys to self-care to exercise mind, body and spirit. “For the spirit, I recommend starting by asking for things please, then thanking yourself.” Along with this, he advises creating an environment of well-being, such as keeping a journal and doing breathing exercises three times a day. These simple actions can help de-stress both the person and the environment.

For the body, it is essential to eat three times a day and to walk 15 minutes after each meal. “I recommend activating the mind with prayer or meditation in the morning and evening; which renews the vital energy”, he assures.

Susana Romero suggests an exercise called “emotion against emotion”. “You can’t feel good and bad at the same time. You may feel more bad than good, but if you do things that generate well-being, you will most likely lean towards positive emotions,” he says.

As an example, he says that if you feel bad and you do things that make you feel bad, like listening to sad music or isolating yourself, you will feel worse. But if you call someone, eat an ice cream or take a walk with your pet, there is a positive emotion that will pull you up.

What’s the best “gift” you can give someone close who might be having a hard time on this date? The first thing, according to Rojas, is to accept that not everyone wants to celebrate. And so not everyone is waiting for a gift or part of the party.

“Approaching the help of a family member or friend means not judging that person’s decisions or discomforts,” he says. “Listening is the main element that we can offer. If the person wants to be in a different place on this date, it is important to sympathize with their situation and also to make the gesture of inviting them to another place that is comfortable for them.

Sometimes it’s hard to understand that a lackluster mood isn’t picky behavior, that it’s not just about wanting to feel negative and be the best. grumpy of the family. Amaro recommends listening and being there for that person, and providing support based on understanding and empathy. “But above all, don’t leave her alone and watch her. If these symptoms persist over time, you should help him see a professional.

A great gift doesn’t need to be wrapped or expensive. “Definitely the best Christmas gift is to be compassionate,” says María José Lacamara. “Learn to tolerate, contain, embrace and respect the emotions of others: allow them to live their approach”.