Ideas for spending the New Year alone (but not alone)

Loneliness must be, along with love, the concept most addressed by the arts. Perhaps because one seems to be the antonym of the other, and therefore they are two of the deepest and most moving emotions a human being can experience.

“If you are alone when you are alone, you are in bad company”, wrote Jean-Paul Sartre. “Being with lots of people can be lonelier than being alone,” singer Fiona Apple said.

More than an objective or quantitative state, it is a subjective sensation. Loneliness, as Laura Pausini sings, is that inner silence, a nostalgia that can feel much stronger on a date with a strong affective resonance like the New Year.

“The end of the year is a holiday that many people associate with a time to be shared with loved ones, friends, or even just a time when many people come together to celebrate,” explains Rafael Camacho, a psychologist at Medismart .

For some people, she adds, spending that day alone can be difficult if they can’t be with the people they love the most. But with other people, he goes further, something happens that he considers paradoxical. “The social anxiety and emotional stress of being around lots of people can be very uncomfortable. Whatever the case, there are things we can do to feel better and change our point of view. of view on these dates.”

If for some reason you have to spend the night of this December 31 alone, there are several options to give new meaning to this experience, and not necessarily remain as the memory of a sad holiday.

The point of view of psychologist Daniela González can be your main ally. According to her, there is an overvaluation of the company. “At the moment there is an imposition to be in company, ideally with family and hopefully as a couple. It is almost a duty and therefore spending the festivities alone can be interpreted as a failure.

But to avoid that conclusion, González calls for empowerment and self-love. “You have to ask yourself how I experience this, what is the meaning that I give to it and from where do I stop to experience it. Do I want this to be a lesson or a tragedy?

In order for the previous question to be answered by the first option, Camacho invites us to “reevaluate our negative thoughts about loneliness”. It is normal that if we spend these important dates without anyone, negative thoughts arise, such as “I am alone or I will always be alone”. “One way to challenge them is to think you might be right now, but that doesn’t mean you always will be.”

Camacho invites you to positively rethink these thoughts. One way to do this is to use that time with pen and paper, or screen and keyboard, and anonymously, without telling anyone, to take your decrees for the following year. In this note, we explain to you why it is a good idea and how to do it to facilitate or make possible their realization.

Although it is very fashionable, decreeing something will not necessarily make things happen, but it has the power to motivate us, to help us get our minds and abilities in focus. It is also used to feel enthusiasm and illusion, two basic principles for making things happen.

Last Thursday, just two days before Christmas, a huge fire broke out in Viña del Mar which destroyed around 500 homes and left thousands homeless.

What does this tragedy have to do with New Years in solitude? Kory Floyd, professor of communication at the University of Arizona and author of a book on the feeling of loneliness, explained in the New York Times that “volunteering is a proven buffer against stress and depressive symptoms, and can be particularly effective in reducing feelings of isolation. Loneliness tends to draw people’s attention inward, while retribution diverts it outward.”

Floyd’s words have a scientific basis: a to study conducted by the English University of Exeter revealed that voluntary work improves mental health and can even prolong life.

If you live in the Valparaíso region or its surroundings and you have no plans for the New Year, a good idea to help and incidentally fight loneliness is to give your time and your company to people who need it. . But if the area of ​​this disaster is too far away, you can consider another type of volunteer service. Everywhere there are people you can help and with whom you could share this end of the year.

Volunteering is also a way to express gratitude for the things we have that often, due to the daily hustle and bustle, we don’t even realize. Gratitude can be a powerful antidote to loneliness because it helps focus your thoughts on what you have rather than what you need.

If you decide not to share this date with other people, or if you have no other alternative, “one way to seize the moment is to reflect on the year that is ending, focusing mainly on the positive things you’ve done,” Camacho offers. “This is an opportunity to close, to congratulate you on your successes and achievements, however small.”

We can always find obstacles on the way to our goals, but the end of the year is a good opportunity to “rethink the means of achieving them, maintaining realistic expectations, clear and achievable objectives”, advises the professional.

With that in mind, and taking advantage of the fact that there won’t be anyone else, why not think about indulging yourself by cooking something delicious and entertaining to prepare, listening to the music you love or a show you you’ve been wanting to see for a long time? If you want to see that long-awaited movie or start a new series It is better to leave it chosen beforehand and not to start looking for options the same evening. The chances of being caught in the diffusion and don’t end up seeing anything are great.

Likewise, the dinner options for one are also quite varied. Obviously, having something bought or ordered in advance can make a huge difference to having a more enjoyable evening, rather than staring anxiously at the fridge on the night of the 31st.

The options are as varied as the perspectives. Why not even can you think of going out to a party May the night take you and you meet new people or meet others you already know. Or you can also go to bed early, sleep a lot and start January 1, 2023 rested and refreshed.