If self-care does us so much good, why is it so hard to maintain it?

Bridget Jones the protagonist of the novel turned into a film and played by Renee Zellwegger , is one of the most endearing characters in the genre of romantic comedies. Unlike many other love story protagonists, Jones is far from the perfect woman. . But he tries. With an opening scene that has become classic in which a depressed Bridget cries alone in her living room while performing her version of the Celine Dion anthem All By Myself, smokes and drinks wine to excess, it paints a picture that everyone once lived. ‘Cause sometimes we let down .

But just as Bridget slips into self-indulgence and self-pity, she always bounces back. . A repeating point throughout the saga is the cyclical behavior in which Bridget hits rock bottom and then, like the phoenix, rises from the ashes a new woman. Ready to hit the gym, quit alcohol, cut down on cigarettes, and most importantly, break relationships with toxic men. A perfect example of a woman taking the reins and practicing well-known self-care or self-care . And, just as she takes self-care to the extreme, she falls back into harmful old habits repeating a seemingly endless streak we all know.

If exercise, good nutrition, getting the hours of rest we need, moderate alcohol consumption, among many other practices, are clear examples of self-care that, as is the case with Bridget, make us feel good and improve our quality of life. Why does it seem almost impossible to maintain these positive routines over time?

Clinical psychologist at Psyalive, specialist in Systemic Therapy and Mindfulness, Nicole Campos Haro explains that one of the problems is that self-care is a much deeper concept than what popular culture usually shows us in movies, series, TV commercials and magazines. “Self-care is a set of practices and actions that a person intentionally performs to maintain, improve or restore their own well-being taking into account the physical, emotional and psychological aspect. “, he comments.

“It involves taking proactive steps to take care of yourself and can include a variety of activities,” he adds.

Self-care is a complex concept, with many ramifications, and certainly not one size fits all. . It is a subject that has such an impact on health that the International Center for Self-Care Research was inaugurated in 2019, an entity specially dedicated to the study of the phenomenon of self-care. This organization explains that, even in the case of people living with chronic illnesses, of the nearly 9,000 hours a year, only 10 are spent in the company of a health professional. This implies that physical and emotional well-being relies almost entirely on one’s own actions. And this applies not only to those who suffer from a disease, but to everyone. . “Only 0.001% of our time is spent with healthcare professionals. All other care, monitoring and administration of activities must be done by ourselves as forms of self-care,” the organization explains in one of its publications.

The problem is that even when we are able to recognize its importance and feel the benefits, it is very difficult to be consistent. . It may seem counterintuitive that something that makes us feel so good about self-care is so difficult to apply on a daily basis. The Psyalive specialist explains that, although some recommendations regarding personal care are widespread – such as exercising, eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep or maintaining healthy social relationships – it is important that, in order to establish personal care that are truly effective, they are personalized. “They must recognize each other’s needs, interests, tastes and lifestyles “, he specifies. “Only then will it make sense for us to incorporate them into our own routine.”

But, in addition, a study published by specialists from the International Center for Personal Care Research has managed to determine that there are other obstacles common to almost all people who stand in the way of the most laudable intentions of practicing the responsible personal care. The research concluded that there are 7 main reasons why self-care is so difficult. And most of them have to do with replacing previously learned behaviors . “The reasons can be grouped into behavioral changes and disease-related factors,” the center’s publication explains. “Behavioral changes refer to habits, motivation, decision-making and the challenge of perseverance ”.

And it is that, for the majority, defining what makes us feel good and what habits or behaviors harm us is not the main difficulty. The problem is to put these resolutions into practice and to constantly . “Even though I may know that something is good for me, I still have a hard time motivating myself to integrate it because I don’t value it enough or because it’s something I really don’t like,” says Nicole. For this reason, when integrating an action of this type into the routine, the specialist explains that it is essential to ask yourself certain questions that support this self-care. “I can ask myself: ‘what should I add or remove from my life to feel better? why is it worth doing this? Does this specific action make sense to me? How can I facilitate its integration into my life? What should I do to make it more enjoyable or enjoyable? ‘”. The psychologist explains that the answers will give us a guide to not only know which self-care strategies are the ones I need right now, but also to commit ourselves to change.

And it is that personal care requires adaptation and is not something that can be bought in stores. “In recent years, there has been an increase in the popularity of the concept of self-care, which has led to its commercialization and commoditization in some cases. Nicole explains. “Which has caused some people to take it lightly or consider that to include self-care practices they have to spend large sums of money. But the reality is that self-care goes way beyond- beyond an afternoon at the spa, going to a beauty center or shopping for clothes. It is a set of practices and habits that focus on taking care of our integral well-being by taking into account not only the physical aspect, but also the emotional and psychological well-being. “, Explain. She also reaffirms that these practices must be personalized and adapted to our own needs and that the trivialization of the concept should not be allowed to distract us from what really matters: taking care of our well-being and our health. at all levels.

Because the benefits of overcoming the eternal cycle of self-care and self-sabotage in true Bridget Jones style are clear and have been extensively documented by science. “Including personal care improves our well-being, decreases the occurrence of disease, decreases mortality and reduces the costs of health treatments explains the publication of the International Center for Self-Care Research. However, Nicole Campos Haro explains that Today, it’s easy to fall for the pressure that exists – especially for women – to be capable of anything. Including maintaining a foolproof self-care routine . “It is important to remember that taking care of yourself is not an obligation, but a conscious choice to take care of ourselves . Therefore, it is important to find a balance that allows us to enjoy our self-care process, instead of feeling pressured or stressed to meet standards,” she comments. The specialist adds that it is always advisable to seek professional advice if it is perceived that there is pressure to conform to certain practices which negatively affect mental or emotional health . Because, if not treated properly, it is easy to cross the line from self-care to obsession and an unattainable expectation of perfection.