What is a “silent pause”? 5 Signs Your Partner Is Quietly Leaving You According To A Psychologist

Some time ago the term became popular quiet stop (silent resignation), widely used by new generations, which is essentially defined as behavior in the world of work that is characterized to devote the minimum amount of energy to work, in an effort not to push more than necessary.

The worker only does what is right, what is strictly defined in the employment contract . Some of its characteristics are strict adherence to the scheduled schedule, non-attendance at non-compulsory meetings, lack of personal initiative, little willpower and, in general, very little identification with the company and its DNA.

NOW, Psychologists agree that this trend at work has shifted to the world of relationships. Paraphrasing her job comparison, they christened her silent dumping or silent dumping, or silent pause in Spanish.

They defined it when one or both they lose interest in the relationship and only do the “minimum” necessary to keep it going. The obvious question is why maintain the relationship, and although the answer is complex, Psychologists agree that it’s usually because people don’t want to deal with their own emotions. and they avoid the conflict that comes with the end of a relationship, especially when it lasts for many years.

Many people stay together for “the good of the family” especially when there are children, although it can also be due to socio-economic reasons, especially in women who are financially dependent on their partner.

Couples who leave their relationship quietly may want to leave, but may stay due to limitations. What would they lose if they broke up? Maybe the costs are too high. And continuing with parallel work, people may not want their jobs, but they stay because they need them.

According to the psychologist Marc Travers of the Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder and columnist for Forbes magazine, there are certain ways a person can perceive when their partner is applying it consciously or unconsciously is silent pause .

According to the expert on the Forbes website , Here are the five most telling signs that will tell you if your partner is using this strategy:

• Decreased emotional availability. This can take the form of reduced responsiveness to a partner’s needs and emotional cues, leaving the partner feeling ignored, disconnected, upset and/or confused.
• Disengagement from conflict resolution. Withdrawing from confrontations or avoiding engaging in difficult but meaningful discussions contributes to growing division in the relationship.
• Decreased intimacy and affection. A decrease in displays of affection, intimate moments, and shared experiences leads to a sense of physical and emotional distance between partners.
• Lack of effort to maintain the relationship. A reduced willingness to invest time, energy and consideration in nurturing the connection leads to the erosion of the relationship.
• Increased emphasis on selfish activities. Prioritizing personal goals, hobbies, and interests often goes hand in hand with the isolation and disconnection that develops in the relationship.

Psychologists have pointed out that the couple gradually separates without seeking an open conversation hoping that the other person will figure out the problem on their own and, at best, end the relationship on their own.

The magazine PsychologyToday even suggests that “letting go”, the silent abandonment of a relationship, is a form of gas lighting (gaslight in Spanish, a pattern of emotional abuse in which the victim is manipulated so that they come to doubt their own perception or judgment), i.e. deliberate manipulation that involves destabilizing a person and his perception of reality.

Or to put it another way: when they “enlighten” you, they convince you that the problems are only in your head. Applied to a relationship, it’s twice as cruel, the article says. Because it’s not just about dodging responsibility, but also about persuading the other member of the couple that their feelings (jealousy, restlessness, worry) are unfounded or even imaginary. It can cause emotional damage.

The silent pause is therefore even more painful than the already popular ghost in which a person simply disappears without notice and is never contacted again . Although it also hurts, at least it ends the relationship. With this silent distance, the end is artificially lengthened.