Share the animal? What to do with animals when couples break up

On July 1, 2022, the then-private story of Nicolás Baeza, his expolola and two shih tzu dogs – Igor and Bambú – went from the courts to the media: that day, the 8th Civil Court of Santiago determined that the two, even though they were separated, had to take care of their pets through joint custody.

Before, in 2015, Baeza lived with his then partner and bought Igor, who was left in the care of the two. Some time later, the dog will cross with a female Shih Tzu. Among the puppies that were born, they kept one and named it Bamboo.

But three years later, the family separates: Baeza and the woman end their relationship, although they agree to share custody of Igor and Bambú. For more than a year, they shared the expenses and took turns in their care on a monthly basis. Until she decides to end the affair.

“With my dogs I created a very close bond, they were part of my family,” Baeza told La Tercera at the time. “When I thought I wasn’t going to see them again, I was obviously distraught and super frustrated.”

So he decided to go to court, despite the fact that the one who was on the National Pet Registry as an animal caretaker was her ex-partner. Chilean legislation, through the Cholito Law or Responsible Ownership, does not contemplate this type of situation, as it does in Spain, for example, through the Animal Protection Law.

“Just as there is joint custody of children in the event of divorce or separation, there is no similar regulation when this happens with pets. In legal terms, pets are still considered personal property. , that is, like objects, and they do not benefit from the same rights and considerations as people”, explains Alejandra Santelices, veterinarian, ethologist and director of the EMA Foundation .

But unexpectedly, the sentence decided in favor of Baeza, so Igor and Bambú were left in joint custody. “This created a precedent, since the judge considered that animals feel, which goes beyond the regulations”, testifies Santelices.

From the legal profession, they argue that recourse to the courts should be the last resort in these types of cases, those that are resolved by the civil courts and not the family courts. Ideally, people reach a simple agreement, and if that is not possible, they go to a mediator.

When love runs out, what happens to the love of pets? How to achieve a shared guardianship, which considers the well-being of animals but also of people? Is it possible to achieve a desired harmony?

The integration of pets into the family nucleus and the consideration of animals as sentient beings have opened up the need to talk about the concept of “multi-species family”, which includes not only humans but also pets. .

Alejandra Santelices explains that what is sought is to generate regulations that consider animals as members of the family, with attributions and legal rights. “One of the aspects to be regulated is this: what happens when the guardians separate”, explains the ethologist.

As it turned out to be a growing phenomenon, at the end of July, Mall Vivo launched “Share the Dog”, a podcast hosted by Werne Núñez, whose six chapters tell various stories of couples and families who, after a relationship ended, found themselves at a crossroads regarding the fate of their pets.

“There is a real interest in sharing these kinds of stories, which are little talked about: what happens to pets when couples separate? Leading by example on something they are proud of: having overcome human differences while thinking about the quality of life of animals,” describes Núñez.

Among the stories that caught Núñez’s attention is that of Luis and Paula, a couple who met in Chile but soon moved to Spain, where they adopted Elvis, a French bulldog. When the couple returned to our country, they separated. “It affected Elvis so much that he fell seriously ill. heavy: He had pain in his hip and even, at one point, he could no longer walk.

At the same time, Luis created the nora foundation , dedicated to rescuing greyhound dogs abused and abandoned by their owners after using them in clandestine races. Despite the breakup, Paula also joined the initiative, which reunited the couple again. The new situation caused a noticeable improvement in Elvis, who was able to walk again, and eventually became a key part of rescue dog rehabilitation therapy. “Something has the personality of the bulldog that radiates the tranquility of greyhounds and makes them good company. Today it continues to help in recovery and walks happily, ”concludes Núñez.

Elvis’ reaction to the separation from his guardians is not surprising. According to specialists, this type of situation can lead to confusion, generalized anxiety disorders, behavioral changes and even physical health problems in animals.

Ana Francisca Soto, clinical ethologist and secretary of the Commission for Responsible Pet Ownership of the Chilean College of Veterinary Medicine (Colmevet), explains that this usually happens when the daily routine of animals is broken and they are ” separated from their attachment figure”.

Added to this is the possibility of “emotional contagion”. “In the human and animal brain, there are mirror neurons, which fire when they watch another individual perform an activity. This stimulates the nervous system as it would if the person had performed the said activity themselves: that is to say, if the guardian becomes depressed, it is likely that the animal does it by reflex”, explains Alejandra Santelices .

In this sense, shared guardianship can have benefits for the animal, such as spending time with both guardians. However, Soto says moving from house to house, “if not done properly,” can also cause stress.

Indeed, joint custody can become extremely complex when the animal has a medical condition that does not allow it to adapt quickly to changes. “It can be with very old animals or with a behavioral problem. Or it’s also common in cats, which are very reluctant to change territory. In these situations, it is best to seek the help of a specialist veterinary doctor who will assess the situation and guide the process,” advises Soto.

“Changes in social structure and in the environment are very stressful stimuli for cats,” adds Santelices, “which can lead to a range of conditions ranging from changes in hygienic behavior to liver or kidney disorders, among others.” .

When a shared custody agreement is established, it must be considered that the habituation of the animals to one or two new homes must be gradual.

You have to go little by little. Ana Francisca Soto suggests “starting with the person who left the house to visit and walk the dog. Then take the animal to see its new home, for short periods of time, and after that increase its stay in that home.

Something that can help in this regard is the use of transport boxes, which can give the animal a safe and quiet space. “It’s very important that they have one,” Santelices said. “We work so that the animal is comfortable in its box and sees it as a refuge where it can be safe and calm, a bit like its bedroom.” A serious mistake would be to use it to punish the animal, for example, to lock it up or leave it “longer than it can calmly bear”.

Trying to maintain similar routines in both homes is also essential for pet adaptation. “If in a house the dog receives three walks a day but in the second he does not walk it, this will logically be a cause of anxiety and discomfort in the animal”, explains the ethologist.

The two specialists also recommend relying on the use of synthetic calming pheromones, which are based on chemicals released by animals and which can influence their behavior and physiological response. In this case, the goal is to reduce stress and prevent anxiety produced by an environment with which they are unfamiliar.

Pheromones can be found in various formats, such as sprays, diffusers, and collars. The use of aromatherapy, according to Soto, can go in the same direction.

Using cognitive games that can be filled with food, comfy beds, or familiar-scented blankets can supplement adaptation work, which can also be bolstered by “calm-focused” training, says Santelices.

On the other hand, it is essential to remain attentive to the behavior of the animals during the first months; any sudden change could be an indication of discomfort. Soto also warns that in the first stage “it is not practical to leave the animal alone in the new home. You have to keep him company and reinforce exploratory and calm behaviors”.

As we mentioned, shared guardianship can be very beneficial for pets, as long as the guardians – each on their own – can cover the basic needs of the animals. By this we mean food, health, shelter, companionship and playtime.

For the rest, Soto says it’s a good idea to establish each party’s responsibilities early on, in terms of expenses and care, “and make sure they’re met, so as not to harm to the animal”.

But just as shared custody could be beneficial for animals, it could also be counterproductive to their welfare. Santelices indicates that this format would not be recommended if one of the guardians is rarely at home, for example, because “dogs and cats need social contact to have a full life”. Nor if the animal has too much separation anxiety from one of its attachment figures. In this case, the accompaniment of a treatment allowing to overcome the crises would be necessary.

As Werne Núñez says, “Companion animals have no chance of surviving in this world if the humans who brought them in don’t care for them, love them, or take their well-being above board. beyond the breakup and the problems they have”. had”.