“I don’t know how to show where it hurts”: how is identifying your emotions beneficial for your mental health?

Identify and treat our emotions and feelings can be a particularly complex task if you don’t have the tools psychological appropriate.

Although many specialists have dedicated themselves to studying how they are processed and manifested in the body and in spirit very often, their discoveries are not translated in a didactic way for most people.

It is precisely one of the goals that the Colombian writer, journalist and illustrator Amalia Andrade (36 years old) set in her latest book titled I don’t know how to show where it hurts (Planet, 2023).

In it, the author explains some key concepts that he has studied for years and that have helped him in this framework.

With, refers to personal experiences, such as when she found out she was adopted, when she decided to enter the world of acting without having any prior experience. —this year he made his debut in the job All the wonderful things— and the links that marked it throughout his entire life.

All this through a user-friendly narrative, which references the work of different scholars in an easy-to-understand format and it covers multiple topics through commonalities within the routine.

Even, illustrated by television programs, memes, Latin American soap operas, artificial intelligence applications, social media posts, films and various artists musical comedies.

On this last point, It even offers a playlist with songs by Alanis Morissette for a new “sentimental re-education” . Each of them is linked to states such as anger, joy, disappointment, love and sadness.

Added to this is the fact that on more than one occasion releases humor that a large part of readers could identify with -since they refer to daily life- And invites them to write in their own handwriting in the pages of the same book .

In conversation With La Tercera, Amalia Andrade deciphers some of the limits of I don’t know how to show where it hurts and analyzes his view on how a “welfare tyranny” predominates in the system. and why acts like crying in public can be revolutionary .

At the beginning of I don’t know how to show where it hurtsalso author of books like You always change the love of your life (Planet, 2015) and Things you think about when you bite your nails (Planet, 2017) He says that for years he has dedicated himself to studying in depth the differences between emotions and feelings. .

As he tells LT, This doubt arose in therapy, when her psychologist asked her to talk about her feelings and she tended to respond by telling him her thoughts. .

“There, I think I had a short circuit and I thought to myself, ‘why is it so easy for us to get confused by differentiating them?’ “.

This too came accompanied by another crucial doubt .

“I became very obsessed with this idea that We live in a society that tells us that there are good and bad emotions, some of which are heavily punished. by the system. »

Such thoughts, He embarked on a four-year journey to try to better understand these points, as well as certain aspects related to his life. staff.

The result became what we know today as I don’t know how to show where it hurts a delivery which also brings together a series of personal photographs and illustrations This gives meaning to what the author is saying.

One of the most striking concepts that Andrade saves in his book is the wheel of emotions by the late American psychologist Robert Plutchik .

Roughly, It is a model that explains complex emotions as a mixture or sum of what we might call basic emotions. .

These are: joy, confidence, fear, surprise, sadness, dislike, anger and anticipation .

Presenting it in his book, Andrade details that “They are in a circle positioned opposite their opposite (joy versus sadness, or anger versus fear, for example)” .

“Plutchik expands the wheel with secondary emotions that arise from the relationship between primary emotions, For example: love is born from joy and trust; or surprise and sadness, disappointment “.

Then, after having deciphered what the psychologist’s proposition consists of, The author looks at a “Plutchik wheel user manual”, which promises that understanding it will bring a series of positive points. .

Among the latter is from how to identify predominant emotions to how to better manage them and communicate more appropriately in the middle of an argument.

“Do you know what the world would be like if our parents had learned this? Or my generation? Flying cars would exist, there would be no wars, printers would work and hand dryers would dry hands. (instead of spreading germs left and right,” he suggests in the pages of I don’t know how to show where it hurts.

That This is just one of the concepts that he presents to promote the understanding of emotions, in addition to developing others such as a “multiple choice test of films that make us feel many things in our body” and a “brief treatise on responsibility.” “emotional” with suggestions for readers.

“Feeling my emotions is not the same as thinking about my emotions.” says the Colombian writer on a page of her book.

Two of the most important points Andrade highlights regarding managing emotions specifically concern the importance for people to be able to participate in both cultural events and access psychological therapies .

Although she acknowledges that she feels lucky to have the opportunity to access the latter, she emphasizes that “Access to mental health should not be a privilege” .

From his experience he says that Therapy helped her “heal, dare, understand my fears and work through crises.” .

“But above all, the word that I would emphasize and which seems important to me is “support”. accompanied me . In this sense, it also seems very relevant to me,” he says, before adding that at the same time “We must understand that as a society, we must also have other supports “.

It was then that Andrade declared that “We must generate different community spaces and artistic expressions, scenarios that allow us to support each other in our different processes” .

AND Although he emphasizes that “art does not replace any therapeutic process”, he nevertheless emphasizes that “it is a great therapy in itself”. .

“I have worked all these years to afford this luxury (therapy) and Now what I would like is if it could transcend or find a way for it to stop being a privilege and be implemented from many other places. (…) What should happen, in my opinion? That States and society give importance to both things “.

“I I hope that this book is like a first approach to the world of emotions and that it makes people want to ask themselves more questions, that they navigate their emotions more easily, that they want to know more and feel good precisely with those who are not so easy to navigate but society tells them not to feel them,” he assures LT.

In I don’t know how to show where it hurtsAndrade He also critically analyzes the capitalist system and explains why, from his point of view, it makes us live in the midst of a “welfare tyranny”. .

A general level, argues that society tends to view certain emotions as better or worse than others. For example, sadness is worse than happiness. and that, therefore, we should avoid feeling it or letting others discover that we feel it.

“What we are sold is the illusion that those with more purchasing power have greater consumer power and, therefore, immediate access to lasting happiness. This creates two problems: the first is that money is seen as equivalent to happiness. And the second is that “happiness” itself becomes a good that can be purchased, but it is not true happiness. are constant stimuli that lead to discomfort,” he writes in the book.

With the above as a premise, Andrade states that “we are bombarded implicitly or quite explicitly with the idea of ​​feeling happy, satisfied” .

An example he cites is a large part of the publications seen on social networks, where there is a general trend on how – supposedly – ​​one should be or be .

In this way, He claims that a “hierarchy” is created in which certain emotions are perceived as “better than others”, which, he points out, is “absolutely false”. .

“The invisibility of all emotions which are not described as pleasant or which do not have the same recognition in society, which are not so applauded, is perpetuated even further. It seems to me that it is urgent that we connect a little more to ourselves, because I believe that the world is very designed to disconnect us from ourselves. », he comments to LT.

This is one of the reasons why In his book, he offers tools so readers can identify their emotions and allow themselves to experience them, instead of hiding them or trying to ignore them altogether. .

And in this process, too He explains how recognizing them can help us better decipher and explain how we feel and, therefore, maintain healthier relationships. with the people around us.

All mentioned previously East just a fraction of what can be found in the pages of I don’t know how to show where it hurts .

“Feeling is a radical act of liberation and rebellion against the system (…) Crying in public too (…) Inhabiting sadness too…” is read in part of the book.