When stealing is an uncontrollable impulse: what is kleptomania and how to help a family member who suffers from it

They do not need to have a large monetary value or meet a specific need. for the person who takes them.

Kleptomania is a disorder of Mental Health which consists of the recurrent inability to resist the impulse to steal objects as defined by the Mayo Clinic .

Although it is a rare condition, specialists say it is serious. .

Not only because theft can lead to problems with the law, but also because this diagnosis involves complications emotional both for those who suffer from it and for their loved ones .

Unlike cases in which a person arbitrarily decides to steal an item under the pretext, for example, that it is expensive and they do not want to pay the price, In patients with kleptomania, the main thing is not the value or the uses that can be given to it. .

Alright, the act is specifically linked to a process psychological internal that makes self-control difficult emotionally and behaviorally .

The professor of School of Psychology from the University of the Andes, Fernando Urra, tells La Tercera that “the person experiences it as an impulse that they cannot control” .

“These are objects that at some point caught your attention and often make no sense to have them. This is impulsive, unplanned theft, a kind of improvised behavior . This has no major significance, but there is a very strong internal emotional experience “.

To explain in simple terms how this treatment occurs in the person who suffers from it, the academic says that At least three events can be identified up to the time the theft takes place. .

For this purpose, use the fictional example of a teenager who steals a gold pencil from his grandmother’s desk .

“He walks and sees the golden pencil, identifies it and stays focused on it. The anxiety, the discomfort, the anxiety the idea and internal cognitions of wanting to have it . This is a first module. Then comes a second during which he performs the behavior of picking up the pencil: He walks to the office, makes sure the message doesn’t reach anyone, and puts it in his pocket. “.

Then comes a third moment, where the person in question feels a high level of guilt and remorse for what they have done to the point where you might not use the pen later or even return it after saving it for a while

Of course, This example for explanatory purposes can be transferred to other contexts and places like a supermarket.

What is central, as indicated above, is that the individual feels unable to resist this impulse to take the object, which contributes to the fact that he ends up doing so .

In this way, a cycle is created with these behaviors.

Items can also vary, from small parts of a toy to a drink can. . In fact, patients with this disorder They tend to steal items that are not more valuable and that they could even afford to buy. .

Added to this, according to the Mayo Clinic, is that They are often ashamed of the actions they have committed, which makes it difficult for them to see specialists or talk about the problem. with your loved ones.

“It is a painting which begins to show small signs or symptoms at some point. It’s not something that happens suddenly. . A general level, family will probably notice that there is this impulse, because the person can appear with objects that they ultimately do not need, but that they cherish,” explains Urra.

Under this line, he continues: “To the person It causes you a lot of anxiety to remember the origin of what you have, where you got it from, how it got there. . From a psychological point of view, this is an important indicator: It is an impulse he cannot control, but to which he gives in. “.

In general, The first symptoms of kleptomania tend to begin and become more pronounced during adolescence or early adulthood. . However, Urra states that They tend to fade with age. .

As with other disorders that affect mental health, the specific characteristics of each case may vary from each other .

However, the director of Institute for Social-Emotional Well-Being (IBEM) UDD, Jaime Silva, details to LT that Certain characteristics are generally observed in patients who face this impulse control problem.

“They tend to be condescending and very adaptable to others. . This causes you to disconnect or live with the constant feeling of not being able to express yourself. , not being able to say what they feel or not being able to say “no” to the many requests made to them. Therefore, in a way they feel “captured” by others for relationships where they are rather submissive or where they adapt to the needs or demands of other individuals.

Such submission need not occur in all contexts says the academic from the Universidad del Desarrollo.

“For example, this may happen in a work environment where you feel like you have to adapt a lot to a very bossy boss. . Then this person, due to a need for work, begins to adapt and A feeling of fatigue and overwhelm begins to create, but also a feeling of lack of connection with oneself. “.

In a case with these characteristics, It may be that the kleptomaniac patient finds in stealing a motivation to “do something which, upon closer inspection, is hidden, against the rules so to speak, but which gives him the feeling of being himself”. or her”.

“There is a relationship that When you look at people experiencing these symptoms, they are generally not continuous over time, but rather variable over time. When do they vary? When the patient really overcomes this tendency towards complacency or adaptation,” underlines Silva.

In other words, “In times of your life when you are most obligated or feel the need to adapt to others, the symptoms of kleptomania increase” .

On the other hand, the signs They tend to decrease when they are in a period of greater autonomy .

Based on the hypothetical example detailed above, in which there is a link between these actions and the relationship one has with the boss, the symptoms could be alleviated when the person is on vacation.

“It is a behavior that allows you to obtain a feeling of independence, of being him or her in contexts where you feel captured by other people. “This is the root of the problem.” reiterates the director of the IBEM.

Although treatments may vary depending on each case, generally Specialists tend to treat kleptomania with psychological therapy and psychiatric help. thanks to medications.

In this sense, Urra is categorical in saying that To deal with this condition, professional help is necessary. .

“Often, kleptomania is accompanied by another condition, this is what we call a dual pathology or comorbidity” underlines the psychologist, then deepens what These symptoms could be added to others such as those of depression, to cite just one example.

It is precisely for this reason that a comprehensive professional assessment is essential underlines the academic from the University of the Andes.

However, If a family member or loved one is showing signs of this disorder, there are some tools that can be helpful in talking about it. on this topic.

“It has to be a conversation that aims to understand, because if you take it as control or criticism, you’re basically going to make the person feel attacked, offended, controlled again. By others. In this way, we reinforce the same problem that causes the symptom (…) We must move in the direction of exploring what is happening to him, rather than punishing him or quickly imposing rules that he must now follow . If we choose the latter path, the problem may even become more serious.” Silva explains.

Likewise, the director of the IBEM comments: “Since it is a theft, You might think the right thing to do is to say “you don’t have to steal anymore.” But in this case, theft is not the focal point, but rather an emotional need. If you explore these emotions, you have a much better chance of helping him find a path to recovery. and repair. »

Fernando Urra agrees that It is important to be careful and avoid prosecution . Alright, The goal of the conversation should be for the other person to “verbalize what is happening to them.” .

That’s to say, that you can feel confident and safe to express, for example: “‘Look, I actually have a problem, this has been happening to me for a long time, I don’t know how to solve it.’ .

If we return to the hypothetical case of the teenager who stole a golden pencil from his grandmother’s desk, one way to approach the dialogue could be as follows: according to the psychologist from the University of the Andes.

“I found this gold pencil that your grandmother lost six months ago. You know how much she loved it, because your grandfather left it to her. I want to know what he was doing in the back of the closet. Explain to me, please, because I don’t know how it got there.” .

Along with this, Urra states: “a very universal suggestion, but one that works for a large number of behaviors: maintain a family system with clear rules Operating.”

“They don’t need to be strict. It is not an environment where nothing can be done, but a welcoming, close and fun space, but with rules known and respected by everyone. This helps young people clearly understand that if they have committed behavior of this type, it needs to be corrected. This means that many times, they are the ones saying, “I have a problem.” This happened to me. I need help’ “.

However, When guidelines are confusing, it becomes more complex to detect situations in a timely manner. .

Furthermore, There is another very important aspect to consider. .

“If we think about it deeply, The end goal here is not for the person to stop stealing, but for them to learn to connect with their own needs. . It’s not that easy, but When he starts doing it more frequently and fluently, you no longer need to tell him to stop stealing because he stops doing it naturally. “.

Notably It is always advisable to consult a specialist to evaluate each particular case. and the best ways to treat it.