What is the habit of many couples that could harm their relationship: 3 keys to avoid it

There communication This is an essential aspect both in the Couple relationships as in any other type of interpersonal relationship .

However, Multiple attitudes can interfere with how these interactions occur. to the point where one party might feel ignored or downright offended.

This too This happens when a person is talking about a relevant topic and their partner is not listening, because they are more attentive, for example, to notifications from social networks that arrive on their cell phone. .

This phenomenon has been named in English as phubbing while in Spanish it is called “ningufoneo” (referring to the word “ninguneo”).

According to a study published in Computers in human behavior end of 2023, Levels of dissatisfaction in a marriage are higher when this habit is experienced on a regular basis. .

Other 2022 research available on Frontiers of Psychology concluded that he phubbing can trigger feelings of distrust and withdrawal .

Likewise, a third, also published in Computers in human behavior In 2016 he stated that those who earn more from “nothing” are more likely to see the reciprocal phenomenon .

This way a sort of chain can be created which could contribute to the deterioration of a relationship .

“Smartphones allow people to connect with other people from almost anywhere and at any time. However, There is growing concern that they sometimes detract from, rather than complement, social interactions. suggested the authors of the aforementioned work.

One of the people who saw constant cases of phubbing East he psychologist couple and director of the Family Institute at Northwestern University, Anthony Chambers .

In conversation with New York Times the therapist explained that “‘Nagging’ can consist of a series of different behaviors, such as looking at the phone in the middle of a conversation, checking it when the conversation stalls a bit, or having it nearby.” .

At the same time, he declared that although the phubbing also negatively influences relationships This is a problem that usually resolves without major complications. .

The most important thing is the desire to dialogue and listen to others. .

Following you will find three recommendations that Chambers and other experts made to the aforementioned media.

Of course, you can’t define every single point that determines how a relationship happens. However, the specialist stated that Yes, it is necessary to clarify certain pacts and agreements .

In this sense, the family and couples therapist from the University of Nevada, Katherine Hertlein, pointed out that some key questions that can be asked are: “What are the rules when we talk to others? When is the phone present? When will we save it? .

“I know it doesn’t sound sexy and people don’t want to do that in relationships, but This is truly strategy number 1. “, underlined the expert.

Likewise, Chambers suggested change cell phone notifications so that it does not ring or vibrate at all times .

That might help you fight the urge to rewatch each one of them.

As for the other typical ones, This also applies to cases in which at least one of the parties feels concerned by the phubbing .

Even, as Chambers saw with some of his patients, the couple probably does not realize that he does it.

Thus, in the words of the therapist, The best time to say this is “as soon as you begin to identify those feelings of hurt, frustration, or contempt.” .

There may be situations in which one party is constantly using their cell phone because, for example, they are talking to a family member who is going through a difficult time. or needs to attend to an urgent matter.

However, If this is not discussed with the couple (at least in general terms), they have no way of knowing what is going on. and she might feel like the attention she was receiving has simply been lost.

“The important thing to remember here is that, Often, what your partner perceives is what generates anxiety and creates the problem. “, explained Hertlein.

In this way, She might feel like you’re excluding her. when interacting with other people.

To avoid such scenarios, advised to comment on what is being done, in order to better understand the situation .

Based on this premise, Chambers and Hertlein pointed out that Communication is the most important thing to overcome cases of phubbing .