Why do we continue to blame victims of violence?

In August 2023 Nabila Rifo He had filed a complaint for domestic violence against his then partner. A month later, in September, another charge was filed against Gerardo Bañares, 34, but no precautionary measures were applied. On February 2 this year, Bañares approached Nabila’s house to violently knock on the doors and windows. Nabila’s children, aged 17 and 20, took action and hit him with fists and stones, according to local media. Gerardo Bañares later died at the Coyhaique Regional Hospital.

Nabila’s children reacted to protect their mother, in response to a trauma they have carried since 2016, when Nabila was beaten until she lost her sight by her ex-partner, who is currently serving an 18-year prison sentence . Nabila’s story has become one of the most reported cases of violence in Chile and also a standard in the fight to eradicate gender violence.

The news of the death of Nabila’s ex-partner at the hands of her children was covered in dozens of national media outlets, where comments from Internet users criticize her for having “chosen badly” and “falling back” into the networks of an attacker . Belén Ferreira (@abogada_feminista), a lawyer specializing in family law, attributes this to the “general denial that exists regarding gender-based violence. People do not see this as a phenomenon of asymmetrical power relations, but rather believe that these are normal problems that occur every day and, based on this, without understanding the context, it is easier to say that they have poorly chosen. This happens every time we hear about femicide, rape; It’s as if these were isolated cases. We are talking about There is an increase in violence against women around the world, but this existence is denied and prevents society from sympathizing with these women.

“It is still very easy for men to attack a woman, because no one questions their aggression and violence. »

Psychologist and researcher Bárbara Porter (@ps_barbaraporter) explains that we live in a culture with an adult-centered andro bias that values ​​the experiences of men and women differently, which transfers to cases such as domestic violence, where even justice points the finger at the victims. “We live in a culture in which there is a tendency to excuse, normalize and minimize abusers and blame victims. something that also happens in the legal system when a mother goes to ask for child support or commits acts of violence and is told ‘But, ma’am, you chose it.’ Now she has to rely on the father of her children. This affects all levels, including other institutions and people who might be thought to have notions of justice, but the bias is even among those who should be experts on the subject. It’s important to make change visible,” says Porter.

According to the Ministry of Women and Gender Equality, in 2022 in Chile 43 feminicides were recorded, in 2023 a total of 40 and so far this year 4 have been committed, while 17 others have been foiled. These figures are alarming to say the least and show that gender-based violence is not weakening. It doesn’t take long for cases to turn into press releases and social media posts, a double-edged sword: The information affects a larger number of people, but the victims are also subject to the judgments of hundreds of strangers who accuse them anonymously through comments.

“There is no awareness. The femicides are published, it is said that the attacker has been arrested, but he is blamed. It is still very easy for men to attack a woman, because no one questions their aggression and violence. Basically, this is understood as a man’s nature, just as it is part of a woman’s nature to be smarter about who she decides to sleep with or who she decides to have a relationship with. We are talking about very crude, very basic gender stereotypes, and it is on this basis that victims are interviewed. There is no debate we can have as a society, but rather an attack on the victim and no one touches the attacker. Widespread denial around the world will continue to perpetuate violence against women,” says lawyer Belén Ferreira.

Psychologist Bárbara Porter believes that exposing these cases on social networks is a way to raise awareness among more people, but that the media should accompany the news with the necessary reflection. “People don’t need to know about trauma, but the media has a responsibility to inform, to educate, and not only to put a yellow light on the news, so to speak, but also to having an expert voice that can shed light on why this is happening, to facilitate understanding and empathy, which is what we need,” he explains.

Nabila Rijo’s children were 9 and 12 years old when she was the victim of frustrated femicide in 2016. Her mother’s case was so publicized that it even crossed the line of privacy. During the trial, Nabila’s gynecological report was revealed, which triggered thousands of complaints to CNTV (National Television Council) and a million dollar fine for the television station.

The rest of Nabila and her children’s suffering has remained confidential, but the question is whether she, like other victims of domestic violence, received adequate help to move on with her life. Bárbara Porter, who works with victims of violence, says that “there has been no reparation for these children and now, on top of that, they will probably have to suffer punishment for work that the justice system did not do.” . Some studies show that just witnessing violence in boys and girls can cause their brain systems to develop differently and make them more prone to disorders, both mental and physical. The best way to prevent violence from being passed down from one generation to the next is to protect children, take them to therapy and remove them from the source of the threat, otherwise the pattern risks repeating itself.” , explains the psychologist.

For the professional, a reparation strategy for victims and their children consists of support both from the judiciary and from organizations and foundations that can serve as support networks: “Interdisciplinary work is necessary: ​​first , legal support from a gender perspective and also working with the courts so that they integrate a gender perspective, so that there are precautionary measures that effectively protect women and children. Second, effective and timely psychosocial support is provided. Today, there are six-month and one-year waiting lists for victims, including those of sexual abuse, to receive reparative therapy. On the other hand, it is also important to provide concrete support, for example residences where one can go, as well as supporting networks that can be created with NGOs and organizations such as community groups. other women who experienced what they experienced. and this information can be given on where to go, what to do.

For her part, lawyer Belén Ferreira considers that it is essential to work on these issues from an early age in order to avoid: “We must attack from childhood, raise without stereotypes, raise without violence, because all this results in dynamics of violence in the couple and among boyfriends from a very young age. “There is no real progress in this area, because there is no prevention necessary.”