Alimony: are we considering “ant expenses”?

When there are children in common, the way in which both parents contribute to their expenses is not always easy to agree, and when March arrives, this becomes more obvious; Many mothers are left with unpaid school fees or have to cover expenses related to uniforms or school supplies on their own.

And although mothers and fathers have a legal and moral obligation to provide emotional and economic support to our sons and daughters so that they can live in the best possible way, we know that in many cases this does not ‘does not arrive. “In the event of family breakdown, the distribution and distribution of the cost of living for children is quite complex, mainly because The distribution of how men and women contribute and/or invest in our families is marked by a gender divide, which becomes more visible during a separation,” say lawyers Javiera Fuller and Alexandra Maringuer of the law firm M+F.

Thus – add the experts – it is usual for men to pay the notion associated with the roof, that is to say dividends and contributions or rent and common charges; education, that is, colleges and universities; and health, through Isapre and insurance, among other expenses that would be classified as “basic”, “necessary” or “important”. All of these tend to be larger amounts and even expenses that will later generate profit or be an investment.

On the other hand, women and mothers, who rarely take care of these items, must pay for others, such as groceries and clothing. “These are more ‘everyday’ expenses and are therefore generally minimized. In addition, these are “perishable” issues, that is, things that disappear month after month and do not generate any economic report at first glance, but they are fundamental in the lifestyle that children lead and for meet their needs. “, the experts add.

Thus, according to lawyers, when they find themselves in the situation of having to negotiate or agree on alimony, the first thing they see is that the “significant”, “necessary” and “relevant” expenses for subsistence are put on the table. Common children and all others, those generally brought by women, are automatically minimized.

These are what we call “ant expenses”, these small expenses generated on a day-to-day basis – and which are closely associated with care work – such as a friend’s birthday present, the equipment they request last minute at school, ice cream. they wanted to eat at the kiosk, or that extra pair of sneakers because they broke earlier than expected.

“Many probably question this expense as being ‘necessary’ and/or ‘relevant’ for that boy or girl, even we ourselves are not aware of its importance, but when it is one of the parents who is responsible for taking care of most of the “Time, the daily needs that arise add up and become more and more relevant,” say specialists.

And they add: “When a client comes in who needs to pay child support, the first thing we do is send them an Excel spreadsheet, because to become familiar with the real expenses that arise in a family is essential to become aware of them and generate a strategy that seeks a true balance in contributing to them. And here is the surprise of many, Their sons or daughters spend much more than they themselves thought, because these basic expenses are not taken into account when calculating “basic” expenses. Expenses linked to care work, which have recently been included in legislation and which constitute a duty to be valued, are even less so.”

In general, since women’s expenses are daily and ongoing, they are smaller amounts and are rarely counted, which automatically means that this small expense is not even considered something necessary, which does not imply not that it doesn’t exist and that it does. For this reason, the Law Firm clarifies that generating the appropriate strategy in a negotiation, mediation or trial, duly recognizing the distribution of the family economy and considering all expenses, is the only thing that allows us to obtain fairer alimony payments, where the real contribution of female mothers is visualized.

“Changing the social, economic and judicial culture begins with gestures as simple as considering the expenses linked to the care and daily needs of our sons and daughters, it is fundamental and begins with the integration of the necessary gender perspective in associated decisions. with our family relationships. Only in this way can we prevent women from becoming even poorer at the time of separation,” the experts conclude.