Gray divorce, the trend of older people who choose to get rid of a love of several years that does not make them happy

For those gray hairs that begin to appear in people over 50, an age when many hope to have a purposeful life and a love of years with which they have formed a home and begin to live and perhaps rest in old age. is the term “gray divorce “.

And the reality is that not all love they are forever . And the cultural changes in the world are behind this phenomenon. trend that adult adults even though they formed a family and shared many years with a couple don’t hesitate to divorce of that someone who no longer makes them happy.

“For the time I have left to live, what I don’t want is to be unhappy,” says Aída Sedano, a 76-year-old woman who millions of people see and listen to on TikTok because she decided to share how unhappy she is. being with others made her a man who prevented her from doing the things she really wanted to do, then. He decided divorce and shows how lonely she can be , despite his age .

Grandma, as many people call her social network says that when she went to the supermarket with her ex-partner and wanted to buy a melon, he questioned her and told her that he didn’t like that fruit, so she was forced not to buy what she really wanted.

“Now that I come to the market, I can choose oranges, apples and eat whatever I want. That’s being happy,” says the cheerful Mexican as he walks around the place.

“The truth is that it was very difficult at my age, after so many years of marriage, to leave the marriage, but look now where I am. I can walk the aisles as long as I want, grabbing tomatoes, apples, juices, whatever I want to drink. I no longer have anyone to tell me ‘do it’, ‘don’t do it’, ‘sit down’,” he says proudly.

She is the mother of three daughters and grandmother of six grandchildren, and separated from her American husband nine years ago, after 40 years of marriage: “When the relationship no longer works, let the wind blow and take the trash out of your way. . . And live. And start living,” she told BBC Mundo.

And now, people’s life expectancy has increased. Older people reach this stage in better health conditions, both physical and mental, which allows this type of empowerment to enjoy their last years in an environment of happiness and freedom.

“When you reach the age of 65, you have on average two decades left to live and if you are not happy, you no longer want to resign yourself to it and you know you have more options,” Silvia Congost, a psychologist, writer and relationship expert, told the BBC.

Congost explained that divorce “is no longer seen as something as stigmatized as it might have been in the beginning, but rather as much more normal. Because it is more normalized, it also makes it more present at those ages.

One of the phrases that Spanish psychologist and mediator Sacramento Barbas hears most in her consultations is that “for the time I have left to live, what I don’t want is to have problems, to be upset.” And those who decide to separate at retirement age often say that they no longer recognize their partner: “It’s as if they were another person.”

The psychologist reported that even in many cases adult couples, married for many years, tend to “put up with” their children, because they do not want their parents to separate, but, according to specialists, living with disappointments could even shorten their lives. years of quality life.

But now that the stigma of divorce, the fear of loneliness and people’s comments have been lifted, “people want to change. Many years ago, we would say: well, if I don’t get divorced anymore, I don’t get divorced anymore. On the other hand, people aged 60 and 65 are still very healthy. “They have many years of life ahead of them.”

There are even those who find new partners at this age, perhaps not to start a new family, but to enjoy this time together, since children are already growing up, leaving home and professional careers usually settle in after retirement.

“Without the daily grind of juggling children’s schedules and long work hours, spouses may find they have little in common, are virtually strangers, and have nothing to talk about. Gray divorce is usually not precipitated by a singular event, but is the result of growing apart,” experts explain.

“If you’re not happy, you know you don’t have to keep holding on,” the psychologist stressed.