One Husband Is Enough: Why 60-Year-Old Women Don’t Want to Remarry

In movies and books about love, it is common to see that in old age, in those special golden years, Women live happier when they are married to a woman. couple . But is this really the case?

In the United States, a new trend proves the opposite: More and more women over 60 are deciding to live “happily ever after,” but alone and without the need to remarry.

Alexandra Cruse, 68, is an adult woman who in conversation with The Wall Street Journal assured that living the “American retirement dream” : After many years of work, her financial situation is “perfectly comfortable,” she does yoga, volunteers at a local hospice, takes piano and art lessons and runs a cycling group.

In 2015, she lost her husband, to whom she had been married for almost 40 years. Today, almost ten years later, she wants to find a new partner, but she no longer has any desire to remarry.

“What would be the point?” the woman wondered.

Just like Alexandra, In the United States, many women are “discovering” that they do not need a husband to enjoy their old age in peace.

According to the data provided by the Bowling Green State University National Center for Family and Marriage Research , 53% of American women aged 65 and over are divorced, widowed or never married . On the other hand, men only reach 30%, because for this sex it seems easier to find a partner and, in addition, to want to remarry.

And that’s it Women are less likely to find a partner, partly because they live about five years longer than men.

But that’s not all: Women tend to be more likely to maintain stronger social ties with family and friends. Therefore, compared to men, they receive more support after a divorce or the death of a partner.

Furthermore, the professor of sociology at Bowling Green University Susan Brown, assured that A large proportion of older women no longer want to be “nurses or wallets” : “They don’t want to provide care and they don’t want to jeopardize their own financial stability.”

Something like this happens to Christy Sahler, another 61-year-old woman who spoke with The Wall Street Journal, who assured that, Although it’s a bit lonely having dinner alone every night, being single ensures that her assets only go to her daughters and she also has time to do things for herself. like going to yoga or pottery classes.

“If I had a partner, I would go home and cook dinner for that person.”

According to a survey by Pew Research Center r in 2014, 54% of older women said they did not want to remarry, while only 30% of men considered the same for their future.

The same article from WSJ explored this Remarriage when people are older can give rise to “thorny conflicts” over important issues, such as inheritance, power of attorney and children. that they bring other relationships.

For example, Norma Israel, a 63-year-old woman who spoke to the same media, said that she had married three times in her life: the first time she divorced at the age of 30, at the age of 50 she lost her second husband to cancer and, Now he’s giving himself a new chance to love, but without putting a ring on it.

Larry Chase, her new partner, assured that he accepted Norma’s decision not to marry him, because We live in a society that “seems to accept it pretty well these days.”

Both assured that they were living a pleasant life, without having to go to the altar.

According to Na’ama Shenhav, a public policy specialist at University of California , When a woman has a higher salary than a man, she is more likely to decide not to marry and even to divorce if she is already married.

On the other hand, the academic in sociology of University of North Carolina Rosemary Hopcroft, discovered that Men with higher incomes are more likely to marry and remarry.

On the other hand, women with higher incomes are less likely to remarry than women with less money.

“As women get older, the pool of men they find attractive becomes smaller and smaller; whereas for men, as they get older and become more financially stable, the pool of women they find attractive becomes larger and larger.

Additionally, as women have a higher life expectancy than men“For many, this means asking: Am I going to stay in a potentially unfulfilling relationship for the rest of my life?” added the academic from the Institute of Gerontology of the University of Massachusetts .

Lyn Silarski, a 69-year-old woman, divorced at 50 and, after getting her life together emotionally and financially, decided to download a dating app: “I often say that I wish I had a man to go out with, someone who was a friend and wanted to do things, because I have friends, but they’re married and busy.”

What he didn’t know was that he was about to find himself facing a different and complicated panorama: Most men his age were more interested in younger women, and those who were interested in her wanted to have a relationship with someone who would care for them in their old age.

“Maybe there will be someone who is the ideal candidate, but I see it as a miracle, actually.”