Resilience is not a rigid attitude, but a series of processes that allow a person to “thrive” in stressful situations. And that’s something we can work on, experts say.
How to become a person resilient and stronger? This is the question asked by an editor. The New York Times , after realizing how much it affected his mental health and emotions fighting with someone on social media, getting stuck in car traffic or receive insults from other people.
From what he said, When faced with adversity, he usually collapses quickly.
This is why he decided to speak with different experts to understand how to become mentally stronger and know how to better manage your emotions. And now he is a father and he wants to instill resilience in his son and make it a real determination in his life.
And what he discovered was unexpected.
What is resilience according to experts
Since we were little, we’ve heard that Resilience is a “value” or a “principle”. Nevertheless, It is difficult to define it as something very specific.
Some experts say it is the ability to face adversity, others think it is the ability to recover after a setback and finally, others think that it is be able to adapt to difficult contexts.
For Michael Ungar, social work researcher at Dalhousie University in Canada, Resilience is not a “rigid and harsh attitude,” but “many processes that will enable a person to thrive under stress.”
The expert showed that Being resilient is not about “exercising just one muscle”, but rather the whole body, in a constant routine of ups and downs. “Resilience is the product of many elements of your life, your experience and your personality. »
How to be mentally stronger and not suffer from too many problems
We all encounter problems in our daily lives. of different intensity, size and shape, but nonetheless problematic.
And, unless we are taught to “be” resilient from childhood, No one is programmed to know how to manage difficulties well or to have the necessary tools to manage their emotions alone.
It’s something we’re working on.
The journalist of New York Times reported that “All the experts I spoke with agreed that no matter how resilience is defined, it can be improved, just like physical strength. »
“There are many pillars that can support it (family, spirituality or money for example), even if “Three ideas are fundamental to improving resilience. »
1. Identify what your purpose or meaning in life is
For the professor of psychology at Southern University of Tennessee, United States, Sherry Hamby , “The most important aspect of a good life is having some sort of purpose and something that you invest in and commit to.”
According to the academic, she discovered that “The most powerful predictor of resilience in the face of traumatic events is your connection to something greater than yourself, whether that is God, your family, or your country. »
That’s to say, The more meaning you find in your life, the more stable your mind and emotions will be.
“For example, let’s say that You define yourself as a mother, a teacher and an artist. If you lose your job as a teacher, you can draw strength from your family and your art. the journalist illustrated Hamby’s lesson.
A good way to find the meaning in life which is the engine of resilience will be to find “a way to tell your story”, because this way the values will be more defined and clear.
“Record a message for your children, review your life, or write your own obituary. Start with the accomplishments you’re most proud of, then review the impacts you’ve had and what you’ll leave behind. Think about what you still need to do.
2. Understand that it is necessary to socialize and that it is okay to ask for help
“Human beings are very social creatures” assured the Kathryn Howell, psychology researcher at the University of Wisconsin-Madison on the same support.
This is why, in general, When a person is going through a difficult or traumatic time, they usually have a desire to be with someone or to be connected with others.
“Community is essential to resilience. »
Combining this with the previous point, the experts assured that A good way to seek meaning in life and, also, to get closer to people who can be supportive, can be the social circle that is formed in volunteering of all types.
This is because people can find something that gives them purpose.
“If you find purpose in literature, volunteer at a library. If you don’t connect with the people there, try teaching pottery or joining a reading group. “The goal is not to be constantly social, but to create community,” » added Dr Ungar.
3. Find what keeps you balanced.
The journalist of New York Times assured that The tools he believed were crucial for resilience, like breathing techniques, exercise, meditation, or time spent in nature, were not the most powerful and essential.
They help, yes. Nevertheless, They are “bottom of the list” because they tend to relieve symptoms but do not solve the underlying problem.
“Self-regulation methods can calm you down or help you get through the day, experts say, but they can’t always help you get through a crisis.”
By following these steps, the editor managed to understand that he is, as a person, a journalist, but also a father.. When you find yourself in difficulty or demotivated by your career, your meaning in life, in addition to being professional, is also to fulfill a good parental role, he therefore counts on him in difficult times.
Furthermore, he assured that soon He will seek to belong to a community that is meaningful to him. Although this can be a more complicated step because people usually have to leave their comfort zone to achieve this.
If you have difficulty achieving thisit is also good to seek help from a specialist, such as a psychologist.
Source: Latercera
I am David Jack and I have been working in the news industry for over 10 years. As an experienced journalist, I specialize in covering sports news with a focus on golf. My articles have been published by some of the most respected publications in the world including The New York Times and Sports Illustrated.
