Young children lack the skills to manage their anger and other emotions. Experts say parents should set an example for their children to learn how to deal with negative feelings.
A little boy crying in a supermarket because someone didn’t buy him a toy or a girl screaming for her cell phone while watching a video are common scenarios as a parent. And that’s it They are at an age where they don’t know how to regulate their emotions, and the only way they show them is through “tantrums” or “temper tantrums.”
In this scenario, are the parents those who must remain calm, since it is adults who should already have the tools to self-manage and gradually teach your children to calm down and deal with their frustrations.
However, This is not always the case.
According to a recent National Survey of Children’s Health (better known in the United States as the Mott Poll) , 70% of fathers and mothers admit that they model poor anger management for their children.
“There seems to be a lot of public displays of anger from adults…and Whether you see it in your own parents or another adult, they are poor examples of how to deal with anger and frustration. he assured Sarah Clark, co-director of Mott Poll and pediatric researcher at University of Michigan has cnn .
How does parental anger affect children?
The effect of parental anger on parenting
The expert began to say that Parents have the “power” to be positive examples for their children. on how to regulate your emotions. Among them, anger.
“If parents model how to respond healthily to anger, children will see it and try it for themselves. » said Dr. Neha Chaudhary adolescent psychiatrist and academic at Harvard University .
In this sense, the doctor urged parents to pay attention to their own emotions and thus realize that “we really have the capacity to influence the life trajectory of our children.”
And growing up, Children who don’t learn these tools can have problems. For example, in the same American survey, many parents admitted to seeing their children become more angry with their friends and peers.
They also detected that Many children (43% boys and 33% girls) experienced negative consequences as a result of their anger, such as hurting themselves or others, having trouble making friends, or getting in trouble at school.
How to teach children to manage their anger
The first thing is to talk about it. According to what Dr. Katie Hurley child and adolescent psychotherapist in the same environment, “Children are not often taught to recognize and talk about anger. When they can’t express how they feel, it’s difficult to find an adaptive coping strategy.
If you have a son or daughter who has difficulty controlling their anger, the expert recommended having a “trigger tracker” “, where you need to write down what your little one’s sleep is like, their eating habits, and the circumstances in which they have angry episodes, to detect patterns.
It is also not good to blame them and confront them when they are going through a crisis. The best alternative is to teach them with confidence.
“What you don’t want to do is make your child feel judged or rejected because they’re experiencing a difficult emotion. It is at these times that they most need a trusted adult, Let them know that they have someone by their side who will help them overcome their feelings,” Chaudhary added.
And it is very important that you, as an adult, do not get carried away by intense feelings either.
“Some skills that work very well (for calming down) are breathe slowly and deeply so your heart rate goes down and your stress level goes down, distracting yourself with an activity that forces you to focus on a task like counting down from 100”.
It may also be a good idea to “engage in an activity that releases feel-good chemicals, like putting on headphones to listen to a song you like or going for a short walk.”
As for the children, You can encourage him to write down his angry feelings on a piece of paper, for example, then crumple it up and throw it in the trash or tear it up, to release tension.
“It is important to remember that “Children’s brains are still developing, so patience is essential to help them cope with overwhelming emotions.”
If you think your young child continues to have anger problems despite attempts at coping strategies, or if your child just doesn’t seem to be his usual self, it may be time to seek professional help,” said Dr. Chaudhary.
“Sometimes constant outbursts of anger This may indicate that your child is suffering from depression, anxiety, or another mental health problem. and the best way to find out is to do an assessment.
Source: Latercera
I’m Rose Brown , a journalist and writer with over 10 years of experience in the news industry. I specialize in covering tennis-related news for Athletistic, a leading sports media website. My writing is highly regarded for its quick turnaround and accuracy, as well as my ability to tell compelling stories about the sport.
