How to be an athlete if you are a woman? Chronicle by Elizaveta Khudaiberdieva

Today I would like to address a topic that has been in the news lately: how hard and if it is to be a female athlete.

Girls are fragile princesses who deserve the most respectful treatment. All this is true, of course. But this is a great sport. Everything is a little different here. Let’s lift the veil of secrecy, does the weaker sex really have a hard time in big sports?

In everyday life, I would call pair figure skating “the flowering of equality.” There will be no concessions for women here. And unfortunately, the whole difficulty lies in the fact that men and women are completely different physically and psychologically. We cannot be equal to the opposite sex. Starting with hormonal levels and ending with emotional levels. But in order to achieve a working environment and results, you have to forget about this. Do push-ups, run, pull, roll – all in equal measure. But it has been scientifically proven that a woman feels normal about one week a month. How do you like it, boys? Imagine that the other 21 days you feel pain, anxiety, frustration, sadness or excessive joy by default. But no one should pay attention to this. I came, I fell, I did push-ups, I rolled. These are the rules of the sport.

Competitions never adapt to your cycle. Every figure skater at least once in her life woke up at a tournament and literally couldn’t get up because of back, chest or stomach pain. When no painkillers help, your belly swells and you have to put on a competition suit. Once I heard the phrase: “Lisa, my God, look at you! Look, you’re fat! Look how your belly is sticking out! It’s bigger than I had at 40! And my uterus hurts, what can I do?”

The topic of weight is one of the most frightening for all my colleagues. I do not know a single figure skater who has never encountered problems associated with diets, weight loss and all the delights of puberty.

It kills me when it is men who start to harass me about my weight. How do you know how a woman’s body works? Do you think that girls gain weight during puberty on purpose? Or maybe they don’t have eyes and mirrors in the house? Or do they not start drinking lemon water and running from morning to night in warm clothes, but eating specifically junk food and sweets? This is the biggest injustice in figure skating! The partner loses 2 kg as soon as the load increases, even if he starts eating twice as much. That’s how boys are made. But the girl, God forbid, did not gain weight. You are different, but equal.

The next problem is sexualization. I honestly think it is a problem. For example, at 13, I competed with a partner who was already 18. We had already qualified for juniors and had to skate in the same style as our opponents. Some girls, like me, were in their early teens, while others were already about to graduate from college. The mandatory theme that year was the blues. Just for fun, check out these productions on the internet. My dad never watched this short dance and I understand why.

Do I need to explain the confusion of the coaches when we started choreographing this dance? Could you have done something less explicit? Maybe yes. But then it wouldn’t work, the judges would find it boring. I still don’t know how I feel about the coach’s decision. Of course, I don’t blame them. Everyone wanted the best. I remember now that it was very strange for me. I was just starting my dance journey and I realized that the competition was huge, that I had no experience and that there was only one chance to be part of the national team. So I was very afraid to show my fear of trying anything, and at any suggestion of choreography, without moving a single muscle in my face, I said: “Great, great, let’s do it right.”

Touching on the topic of relationships, I can say with certainty that an 18-year-old dancer and an 18-year-old single skater are psychologically two different people. When you are a solo skater, you live and work only with your head. By and large, the athlete is surrounded only by a coach, and you both move towards results together. And the girl develops as she should develop.

In duet figure skating, everything collapses at the “duet” stage. From an early age, we communicate with the opposite sex, make friends with them, resolve conflicts, and from an early age we learn what a “compromise” is. Over time, it becomes clear that men and women are radically different. In addition, in dance groups, the coaching staff often consists of both men and women. And this is usually a different story … When they do not reach a common denominator between them, and you need to be able to maneuver between a coach and a second mentor, plus a third – the opinion of your partner. Therefore, in life it often seems that girls are emotionally and psychologically older than their age.

Because of this, by the way, it was my personal life that suffered! I will not speak for others; I did not hold a candle. Girls turn into girls earlier, girls into women. And there is nothing more to talk about with peers, not because they are stupid or different. No, they are just the most normal, it’s just that since the age of 13 you have a workbook, live and work independently. And it is very exciting to buy a set of expensive pots for the house, rather than a new PlayStation. Therefore, apparently, my first relationship ended in marriage. I’m joking, of course, but you understand.

Being a woman in sports is hard. It takes a lot of effort, sacrifice, and dancing with a tambourine. I hope you’ve been able to understand from what you’ve read that simply “feeling like a woman” is not enough.

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