The people who taught me to love

“A few years ago, I read that there were three important loves in life: the first to reach adolescence and learn to love; the second which teaches you pain and you cling to it; and finally the third, that you let him come without great expectations and that he is the love of your life.

I have questioned it many times and the truth is that I think there are many more.

My first love wasn’t like in the movies. The truth emerged at a time in my life when I only wanted to love one partner and I found him. It only lasted a very short time. It was only cute at the beginning and then the story didn’t end well.

A few years later, another love came along. This one taught me to love. I was going through a lot of changes, a stage where I had to make an important decision like stopping drinking alcohol. I was never an alcoholic but when I drank a little, I would short circuit. Unfortunately, that love came just then. I thank him very much for being there, however, he had it worse than me. With him, I knew what true love was. Those of the films, with which we think that there is nothing else in the world than this person. As long as that part lasted, it was wonderful.

After a few years, another love came. A man who marked a before and after in my love life. I met him at a party and we started filming. I was just leaving on exchange in four months. He told me from the start that he didn’t want anything serious, I understood that and continued. I enjoyed every moment with him, every adventure. Even though I knew it had an end date and it wasn’t really love, what it did to me was magical. We never said I love you, I always kept things clear, but it was fantastic. It wasn’t a fairytale love, it just taught me to enjoy the present moment. With him I also understood that we can feel a lot of things without it necessarily being love.

It was time for me to leave. She was the last person I spoke to before I left for seven months. We never spoke again.

The years have passed. My university life continued. I looked around and saw how all my loved ones were evolving. I continued at my own pace, probably slower. That’s when I discovered the first true love of my life. I had a very pleasant and more mature relationship with him. With him, for the first time, I planned a whole life. With him we think of a life together, a family, a house, a home. This love taught me tranquility. With him, I learned to love for the long term. With him I discovered the life project that I want until now. It was very cute. I felt happy and calm. I finished college and wanted to take big steps in that direction. We traveled together, we visited many places, he became good friends with my friends and very close to my family.

Unfortunately, over time my love for him waned and it was difficult for me to understand that I wasn’t always in love. It was very difficult for me to face the fact that I didn’t see myself with him in the future.

On January 1st, our relationship officially ended so that I could continue my life alone, rather without a partner and without plans with anyone. It was only after two years that I managed to forget it. She was still addicted to the image of life she projected with him. I don’t know exactly when I forgot it, but I know it cost me dearly.

Over the years, living in another city and region, he enjoyed another a new love, who taught me what I don’t want in my love life. It was nice but it was just an education. I will never let someone love me so little again. It sounds harsh when I write it, but that’s how it was.

Today I am 31 years old and since the age of 29 I have lived with my current partner, who is now my family. Love? Yes, I found true love. It’s not the one in the film, but it’s much better; It’s the one who teaches you, accompanies you, the one who doesn’t put up with everything, doesn’t idealize you. With him, I learned that not everything is forever, even if I wanted it forever in my life.

With him, I learned that everything is not perfect, but that if you love very hard, it will be solved. It is also the one that pulls you up and above all, the one that gives you peace of mind and confidence. Today I can say that I am in love “to the knees” , but not from an image in my head, rather from someone I love, a being with faults and virtues; and a relationship that is built stronger every day and which is the most beautiful and real love I have had in my life.