I am a mother and this happened when I tried to raise my 3 male children away from toxic masculinity.

I am a mother and this happened when I tried to raise my 3 male children away from toxic masculinity.

A journalist and writer panicked when cases of abuse by men against women began to flood the news. So she decided to research how to raise her three sons to be respectful and empathetic men.

Respectful, empathetic, emotionally intelligent men. That’s what Ruth Whippman a British journalist and mother, hopes that her children, aged 13, 10 and 6, will succeed. And the woman knows that Your children’s personality largely depends on reproduction that they receive during childhood and adolescence.

So, to find the best solution, he started reading books about parenting, but he didn’t find any good answers, because Many have been written by “expert men” who give advice that does not coincide with the new reality of society.

As a good researcher, Whippman decided to write her own book on What was her journey to grow through values, respect and feminism, in a world where cases of men doing “terrible things” began to explode.

I am a mother and this happened when I tried to raise my 3 male children away from toxic masculinity.

A mother shares how she raised her children with feminism in mind

BoyMum: Raising Boys in the Age of Toxic Masculinity (Mom as a Boy: Raising Sons in the Age of Toxic Masculinity) is the name of the book published by Ruth Whippman, the American mother who decided, as the title suggests, to undertake the task of Give your children a respectful upbringing that encourages them to be good men when they grow up.

In his writings he not only recounted his experience, but also He conducted extensive research into how to raise boys who would be respectful and empathetic toward each other and toward women in the future.

“I was 8 and a half months pregnant when I started to see the news turn into a horror series about one man after another who had done terrible things.” started to say BBC World wife.

This is the time when the movement is gaining momentum in the United States. #Me too me too) which makes visible the cases of women who have been raped and abused by men.

I am a mother and this happened while trying to raise my 3 male children away from toxic masculinity. Photo: AP/Ted S. Warren.

“As a mother of boys, I was very scared. “Nobody wants to raise a sexual predator, nobody tries to, but we’ve clearly done something wrong in the way we’ve socialized boys into believing that this type of behavior is normal and acceptable.” .

The woman also feared how the debate about toxic masculinity might affect her sons, how they would feel or perceive themselves if it was generally believed that a large portion of men engaged in this type of behavior.

So he did his first research and discovered that At birth, male babies have a less developed right hemisphere of the brain than female babies. This part is the one associated with emotions, emotional self-regulation and the formation of the attachment bond.

That is why, At first, children would need a little more care in their education, because due to this immaturity, their brain would be more vulnerable at birth, which, in older age, can trigger unwanted behaviors.

I am a mother and this happened when I tried to raise my 3 male children away from toxic masculinity.

“Children tend to cope less well with adverse circumstances. They need more support from their caregivers in the first months of life. “Girls tend to be more resilient and independent” The journalist explained to BBC.

But the problem is that “because of our vision of masculinity, we do the opposite” and we end up caring more for girls, because in our preconceived ideas as a society, we believe that they are weaker.

“We don’t see children as emotionally complex and vulnerable creatures. We masculinize them. We tell them to be tough and not show their emotions. We don’t talk to them about their feelings as much. And we even use different vocabulary when we talk to them.

How a father or mother can guide their sons to become good men in the future

“Parents matter, the decisions we make matter. We have some power, but we need to have a broader cultural conversation. Start to become aware of these things, to name the problem,” the writer said.

And as he explained, There are two things at stake in raising good men: what fathers can do, but also how society shapes them.

“If you could give one piece of advice to mothers raising boys, what would it be? the journalist asked him BBC to the mother.

“Take a break. It’s not your job to fix toxic masculinity in your own home. Try to approach your son with generosity and see him as a complex, emotional human being, and someone you can connect with in exactly the same way you would with a daughter. “He’s not an alien.”

I am a mother and this happened when I tried to raise my 3 male children away from toxic masculinity.

He also urged mothers and fathers Ask children to “take responsibility for other people’s feelings. I think we tend to let children off the hook, and try to correct this gap in their emotional and social skills.

Finally, the woman encouraged We are at a time when “there is a great opportunity to change things. “I think our mothers’ generation did a great job of expanding the opportunities and roles for girls.”

“NOW Now is the time to do the same with children. “I think we are at the beginning of an exciting new chapter,” he concluded.

Source: Latercera

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