What is an energy vampire and the signs to detect it

Have you ever interacted with someone in particular and, afterward, felt more tired and less happy?

If this is the case, it is likely that you have encountered a “Energy vampire” .

This concept positioned in popular culture makes refers to those who consciously or unconsciously “suck the energy” of others to satisfy their own needs .

The director of Institute of Socio-Emotional Well-Being (IBEM) UDD Jaime Silva, explains to La Tercera that “it is obviously a term which is not psychology neither scientific nor formal, but rather colloquial and a sensible way of naming certain experiences this can be achieved in relationships with others.

However, he believes that is useful because it allows us to express situations that everyone may face or feel .

Silva says the term “has to do with the fact that there are individuals who tend to ‘capture’ the relationship, in the sense that your needs become a priority for this link “.

“Human beings We must maintain a balance between what we need and what others need. This is how we achieve social homeostasis. In other words, a balance acceptable or satisfying, where on the one hand you are part of a group and respond, but at the same time you have your own needs, individuality and place.

However, this balance It breaks down when one party “begins to “capture” your behavior, your attention, and, as the concept goes, your energy in different ways. .

“SO, you begin to notice, worry about, and organize your life around the needs of another person . That’s what I would say, that’s what you feel when “it takes away your energy.”

When interactional links develop in this way, an asymmetric relationship is generated, where one person’s decisions overlap above those of the other.

“That’s when Overwhelm, sadness, fatigue and lack of motivation are felt, because this context is created in which you do not have as relevant a place as the other in the relationship. », underlines the specialist from the Universidad del Desarrollo.

As mentioned, “Energy vampires” can act unconsciously or consciously depending on the case.

“In psychology, we say passive or active. The first can occur, for example, in a person who complains that things do not work for him, that he does not understand others, that he is ineffective. . So, everyone should care about what they do, how they feel, and their ability to solve tasks or problems.

“Here’s the person, in general, he is not really aware of what he is doing or what he is causing. in others.”

On the other hand, An active manner occurs when “you try to manipulate the other to achieve what you want.” a scenario that usually occurs from a more conscious position.

Silva says that when this tendency to “prioritize one’s needs over those of others” becomes a sustained pattern, qualifies in what is called narcissism .

“This is seen in the bonds of a couple when one of the members becomes more controlling, authoritarian and defines the things that are going to be done and how . This requires another, who is the one who tends to adapt, to be complacent, condescending. Under these conditions, this individual would be a victim of “relational vampirism”. »

That too This can happen in environments such as family, work or even in a circle of close friends, among other spaces. .

The specialist says that a first marker is “when it feels very overwhelming and you start to feel like you have little energy to act in the world” .

There, you can already consider that “this relationship is hurting you”, because “Not only does it not make sense to you or is poorly connected to your needs, but it also leaves you feeling unmotivated. and energy for your daily activities.

With the goal that you can take care of your well-being and mental health, the director of IBEM shared a series of recommendations .

The expert assures that cultivating self-esteem is a first point this should be taken into consideration.

“You must develop a sufficient level of self-esteem to be able to protect your own needs and build appropriate relationships », Adds Silva.

SO, you will be able to reduce the risks of an “energy vampire” interfering with your perception and actions what are you doing.

It is also of utmost importance in promoting self-knowledge he suggests.

“If I don’t know what I need, how can I express it and connect it?” .

Find the elements that interest you and/or displease you the most promises to help you feel better not only about yourself, but also about your interactions with other people.

Although it is essential to take emotional precautions, You can’t live with peace of mind if you’re constantly thinking about who might qualify. like “energy vampires” “.

In this sense, Silva states that “You also need to identify when a person has reasonable needs and when they don’t, and for that you need to show empathy. .

According to the director of IBEM, this advantage and the others mentioned form “a combination that allows us to find what seems to me to be the key in the end: learn to balance relationships with the others. »

“It’s not just that there’s a toxic person. We can adopt behavior that begins to go against our own needs, through condescension, excessive complacency or capacity to adapt (…) It is not only about learning how to behave towards others, but often also about learning to behave towards oneself. “, says La Tercera.

It should be noted that It is always advisable to consult a specialist if you have doubts about your mental health or about situations that may affect you emotionally.