5 Things ‘Highly Narcissistic’ People Always Do In Relationships, According To Harvard Psychologist

It is known that attitudes such as arrogance , Not letting others express themselves and demanding that others adapt to a proposal are related to narcissism .

For many, the above may be obvious . However, in many cases it is not possible to identify early when one is dealing with a narcissist. .

This is not a coincidence. In fact, It is common for such features do not present themselves so obviously at first .

And as expected, The latter can become a potential problem. Especially, if you form a Relationship with the person in question and factors such as affection or habit make it difficult for you to see – or assimilate – actions that may make you feel uncomfortable or bad.

Professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of the book Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Managing Narcissists (Harper Vague, 2015), Craig Malkin wrote an article for CNBC in which he assured that “Some problematic traits are more subtle” .

In order for you to be able to identify them in a romantic relationship, listed 5 things “highly narcissistic” people always do in relationships .

Roughly, the notion of love bombing refers to giving attention and affection in an overflowing and overwhelming manner, in order to influence the other person’s actions through manipulation psychological.

This “love bombing” (for its Spanish translation) It usually manifests itself in two stages .

The first one involves, for example, a large number of gifts, romantic phrases and caresses. physical.

Of course, which can generate satisfaction in the other person.

However, This is where the second step comes in. of love bombing.

Once the couple has become accustomed to it and feels emotionally committed, the “bombers” suddenly change their attitude, in an attempt to get the other to give up their boundaries. in order to rediscover the pleasure of the first phase.

In this way, The narcissist creates a dynamic that opens space not only for manipulation, but also for abuse. .

Malkin explained that highly narcissistic people They tend to act withdrawn, make rude comments or even disappear for a while when, for example, their partner asks them for more space. For herself.

“Often They feel uncomfortable with vulnerable feelings like sadness, loneliness, shame, fear, or disappointment because they don’t believe anyone will truly care about them or be there for them. ” said the Harvard psychologist.

In his article for the aforementioned media, the specialist explains that “They cope with their attachment insecurities by maintaining a sense of themselves as so special, exceptional, or unique that they are never afraid to face emotional risk.” .

This trend also This is called “self-exaltation.” .

Among the behaviors commonly observed in these people is what Malkin describes as “the twins fantasy” .

This is to “create a sense of being special by emphasizing that the two are equal in many ways.” .

On another side, When differences arise in certain ways of being or acting, they tend to react negatively. with irritation or silence.

“Healthy relationships can support a slower pace, some predictability, an appreciation of each person’s uniqueness, and direct conversations about how you feel.” the expert stressed.

Although it is common knowledge that highly narcissistic people seek to exert control over their environment and/or that of their partner, This phenomenon is not always so explicit. .

For example, You can plan last minute projects or organize all outings to guide the activities you will do together. .

“It’s a tactic to get what they want without having to ask you.” Malkin stressed: “It’s a variation of ‘you’re perfect, as long as you let me do what I want so we feel special together'” .

In the same vein, the Harvard psychologist said: “The most successful relationships are able to manage variety and equitable distribution.” .