Behavioral expert Shadé Zahrai shared her recommendations for addressing these attitudes.
Sociologist at the Morrissey College of Arts and Science at Boston College, Charles Derber uses the term “ narcissistic of the conversation” Refer people who tend to dominate a conversation, ignoring other points of view others.
This scenario can be common in everyday life interactions and on certain occasions can think from a self-esteem exaggerated until deep insecurities .
In such cases and according to this specific definition, behavioral strategist and leadership expert Harvard University , Shadow Zahrai recently published an article in which addressed the most common aspects that can be found in these individuals .
And with that, detailed how you can respond when you are in the middle of these conversations.
This is what the specialist says in the note he wrote for CNBC .
1. They don’t ask questions
The point this subtitle refers to This seems almost obvious if we think about Derber’s definition .
When you talk to a “conversational narcissist,” These usually go into a monologue about different aspects of their lives. without leaving space for the other to speak.
And finally, When they have finished delving into this topic that concerns them, they direct the conversation to another still in these conditions.
This might be boring, then Zahrai suggested trying to “gently steer the conversation toward a more balanced dialogue.” .
In this direction, You mentioned a technique called “conversational threading,” which involves picking up on key words—or concepts—that the other person has mentioned and incorporating them into your response. .
For example, If someone says they had a great long weekend and goes into more detail about it, you can reinforce what they’ve already said and then say, “Mine was similar…” .
2. They don’t realize that they are the only ones talking.
In the majority of cases, It is unusual for them to stop to assess the other person’s reactions or opinions, but it is also common for them to be generally unaware of it. this side.
Faced with these situations, The Harvard expert recommended saying phrases like “I have ideas too” or “I’d like to share my own experiences” so as not to trigger discomfort or unnecessary discussions. (depending on the context of course).
If the above does not work, Zahrai suggested his ace up his sleeve: Let’s say you have a phone call or meeting scheduled in advance, so you can exit the conversation. immediately.
3. They always come back to their own interests
These persons They often find ways to redirect conversations towards themselves. despite multiple attempts by the counterpart to modify it.
To answer, Zahrai recommended another of his techniques, which is to ask them directly for advice, in order to encourage them not to change the subject. and redirect it to them.
An example response might be: “Looks like you had a great time on vacation, do you have any tips while I get ready to leave?” .
Furthermore, Another strategy is “thank you and move on.” which translates to sentences like: “What you’re saying sounds very interesting. What I was trying to share about my situation is that…”
4. They constantly put down
Even if sometimes it is not intentional, “Conversational narcissists” tend to use paternalistic language, in order to generate the feeling that they are the people who know the space and context best. in which we find them.
That This can happen even if there are other people with more experiences. or that they process more information on a topic than they do.
In these situations and if your attitude is one of contempt, The Harvard scholar said we need to set clear boundaries and resist the temptation to react defensively. .
Because? To avoid unnecessary discussions According to the case.
Under this line he said that You can respond, “I would like to continue this conversation, as long as it is respectful.” .
AND If this scenario occurs in a group conversation, it can be made easier for another person to speak. .
This is an example of how to do it, as Zharai wrote for the aforementioned media outlets: “Catalina has experience in this field, doesn’t she? What do you think?” .
5. They stand out through their achievements
This point is also one of the most frequent among these individuals and refers to a scene that you have surely experienced: You share one of your exploits with someone and that person automatically makes a comment to downgrade your exploit and position themselves above you. .
An example: “Did you really get promoted at work? When they promoted me, they gave me a bonus and a car…” .
Faced with this type of comment, according to the Harvard expert, can be emotionally draining .
To answer, suggested a technique that, in his words, “is generally the most effective” .
It is Say something like, “I’ve noticed that whenever we talk, our conversations turn into competitions. I’d like us to share without trying to outdo each other.” .
While these strategies can help you navigate a conversation with a “conversational narcissist,” Zahrai noted, the Harvard expert noted. A point that should never be forgotten: “You are never obliged to continue a conversation that seems unsatisfactory” .
Source: Latercera
I’m Rose Brown , a journalist and writer with over 10 years of experience in the news industry. I specialize in covering tennis-related news for Athletistic, a leading sports media website. My writing is highly regarded for its quick turnaround and accuracy, as well as my ability to tell compelling stories about the sport.
